Lis Seiler's PageEdit


  • Birthday: October 10th, 1995
  • Relationship Status: Not you
  • Sex: Female
  • Hometown: Essen, Germany
  • Languages: English, German
  • Religious Views: I'm still waiting for Jesus to bring the porkchops
  • Political Views: Yes
  • Occupation: Full time raver
  • About: Videospiele sind meine Lieblings Videospiele.


  • Profile Picture - Lis is dancing hakken in her room. Her side it to the camera.
  • Viewable Picture 1 - Lis is sitting on the hood of her Capital, with one foot on the ground and the other on the bumper.
  • Viewable Picture 2 - Lis and Todd are at a rave, making angry faces into the camera.
  • Viewable Picture 3 - Lis is sitting on a scooter, wearing a Stalhelm and smirking into the camera.
  • I just graduated and all that fun stuff. What now? Look for a job? Go to a college? Join the army? I'll see what happens. But for now, time to bask in the joys of not having to go to school anymore and chilling all day. (Pregame)
  • They just announced Motor Vehicle Theft 6. I don't think I'm gonna get it. (Pregame)
  • There sure are a lot of helicopters going around the oil fields. Are they doing maneuvers or something? (Pregame)
  • My folks are talking about getting a new car. Fuck no, I had so many memories in that old Dunbar. Road trips to Bismark, learning how to drive, my first hit & run, and how to pump my own gas. (Pregame)
  • How legal would it be to take a BB gun to the Canadian border and pop some shots at some of them over there? Would it be an international conflict? (Pregame)
  • Just had a run in with one of those nazis at the tunnel. What happened to that idea of theirs on moving to Fargo after graduating? (After Perfekter Tag)
  • The dean squad just got incorporated today. Watch your asses out there, Philadelphia. (After Dean Squad)
  • Car trunks get cramped. Don't ask me how I know. (After Impounded)
  • Nothing beats being blackmailed into working for an African gun runner. At least it pays better than my last job. (After Overwatch)
  • Snitches get stitches. Not saying he wasn't going to get stiches to begin with. (After Ethnic Cleansing)
  • Happy Hardcore is at least 24 times better than cybergoth/nightcore. One of the mains is that you don't look like a rent boy that stepped out of an anime film. (After The Art of Intimidation)
  • So my folks just kicked me out. Fuck. (After Roomates)
  • Holy fuck, we got away with rescuing Todd and it felt just like a crazy ass scene from Motor Vehicle Theft. (After ...Back To The Garden)
  • Playing some classic MVT with my amigos after those cybergoth fucks ruined the party I was having with those Nazis. If you don't know what's been going on, don't ask. You had to have been there to understand it. (After The Exchange)
  • Railfan for a day. Neil would've had an orgasm. (After Working on the Railroad)
  • You guys know that music video for that song I like? The one where they're all partying in that car and out of nowhere a crane comes out of nowhere and crushes them? Guess what. (After Always Hardcore)
  • That was just like MVT, or any generic heist film from the 1980s. Great fun! (After The Getaway)
  • Schöne Häuser brennen schön. (After Last Dance with Jane Davis)
  • Don't smoke. (After Have A Smoke)
  • And when I think some people couldn't get any creepier, along comes Henk. (After Friendly Competition)
  • I've never liked propane grills. I've always been more of a charcoal girl. (After Light My Fire)
  • The good news is that Larry kicked the oxygen habit. The bad news is I gotta get off this grain elevator before someone finds me. And I also have to gas up the car. It'd seem like the bad would outweigh the good in this case, but it's quite the opposite. (After Kristallnacht)
  • Am I a celebrity or something? (After Unsere schöne Welt)

Trey Steven's PageEdit


  • Birthday: April 4th, 1996
  • Relationship Status: Looking for a lady who won't rat me out to the government.
  • Sex: Male
  • Hometown: Philadelphia, North Dakota
  • Languages: English, Intergalactic morse code
  • Religious Views: Religion is a lie propagated by the government to oppress regular dudes
  • Occupation: Cashier at Shabimbim's Model Train Extravaganza
  • About: Everything you fucking know about the government is a lie. How shaken up are you about that? I'm not. I fucking knew all this ever since the day I crawled out of my dead mother's womb. And ever since then, I've been yearning to know the truth. All I know so far is that the North Dakota National Guard is fighting a secret war with Minnesota National Guard over some drilling areas and Albert Einstein DID NOT create the scarf (rather his hunchbacked next-door neighbor, Misha Mikhailovich Stefan). Despite all these terrifying claims, we're still a FAR way away from knowing the truth. Also, my first name is Mike, but don't call me Mike because Mike is my father's name.


  • Does anyone know anything about my neighbor who lives about a half mile or so behind me? He's fucking crazy. (Pregame)
  • I drove by my neighbor's house today while doing evasive night driving exercises and I heard this sound of a power saw coming from his garage. And it was precisely five minutes after midnight. Surely not a coincidence. (Pregame)
  • Does anyone know what kind of pillows are the deadliest? (Pregame)
  • My guns came in through the mail today. I'll take them to work with me to see how well they fare in urban combat with glass bottles. (After Perfekter Tag)
  • Just had stroke of bad luck after jumping off my roof and messing up my ankle. I'd say the government was behind it, but then I realized it was my own fault. Props out to my amigo Lis for taking me to the hospital. (After Break a Leg)
  • Holy fucking ice cock, I just unearthed a goldmine of evidence on my crazy ass neighbor. (After Impounded)
  • How many people do you know that drive classic German muscle cars? Furthermore, how many do you know that are collaborating with the CIA to make a thermonuclear hydrogen bomb? (After Stalker)
  • The super secret mission I spent a grand number of 30 minutes planning got COMPROMISED AS FUCK. (After G.A.Y.)
  • I got a new roomate. It's a nazi. (After Dean Squad)
  • My amigo Lis is staying with me and that's pretty cool. We watched old horror films from 1972-1980 and got drunk. (After Roomates)
  • I now have suspectable reason to believe that Todd was kidnapped by a joint CIA-FBI operation. For one, the guy who we were stalking worked with the CIA, and two, the FBI have a field office 10 hours south of here in Denver. (After A Quick Buck)
  • Got to do army-style training today. Just like my dad did, had my dad gone through infantry training rather than tank gunner training, or whatever they did back in the 1980s. (After ...We Are Golden...)
  • Me, Neil, and Lis successfully completed an operation to save Todd from behind enemy lines from a security company that was in cohorts with what I believe to be the French Military. (After ...Back To The Garden)
  • Never bring a hatchet to a fist fight. Oh well. (After White Trash)
  • Right as things go from bad to worse, my amigos find a way to get me out of a pickle, a pickle that tastes like a cop blackmailing you to rob a bank. (After The Getaway)
  • OPERATION OVERLORD MARKET GARDEN PAPERCLIP OF THE BULGE was a damning success. (After Last Dance with Jane Davis)
  • The dean squad goes through with flying colors once again! We're gonna be as good as the guys who took down Osama within a few weeks at this rate. (After Breaking and Entering)
  • Any of you catch those newsguys snooping about town as of late? They think we're some sort of icon or something but fuck them and their flea circus. They should be reporting on the government tracking our emails, if only the government didn't run the media through various front companies. (After Unsere schöne Welt)

Todd Myall's PageEdit


  • Birthday: August 24th, 1995
  • Relationship Status: Single
  • Sex: Male
  • Hometown: America
  • Languages: English
  • Religious Views: Religion
  • Political Views: wat
  • Occupation: Motor Vehicle Theft hitman
  • About: My name is Todd Myall. I live in Philadelphia, North Dakota with my Uncle Neil and Aunt Sarah. My best friends are Lis and Trey. I went to school with them and they were nice to me. I like video games, happy hardcore, and making videos to put on the internet. I am the crack child of reality and sillyness. I have to stop typing because I am running out of things to say. Goodbye.

Viewable PicturesEdit

  • Viewable Picture 1 - Todd Laying on his bed looking at the camera with a stoic facial expression
  • Viewable Picture 2 - Todd happily standing next to an overturned car
  • I graduated high school and I hung out with Lis and Trey and Uncle Neil tried to talk to be about joining the army and I said "no" and I took a shower. (Pregame)
  • I found a twenty dollar bill today. (Pregame)
  • Guess who bought twenty dollars worth of Frikandels from 6-Nine? (Pregame)
  • I saw Trey at the model store today. We talked about the time back in 11th grade, Rick Merrick went to punch Brad Rossi in the face, but ended up hitting his belt buckle and he went down like a bitch. I then left. (Pregame)
  • I found Uncle Neil crying in his basement while playing with his model train set and listening to old records. I think Uncle Neil needs a therapist. Who wants to be Uncle Neil's therapist? (Pregame)
  • I'm still working on that Rational Taxi mod, if anyone's still interested.
  • I just hate North Dakota Nazis. (After Perfekter Tag)
  • I got to beat up a white supremacist video store today!!! (After Alles Kaputt)
  • Aunt Sarah got all my laundry and then I realized I lost my phone. I was sad until Aunt Sarah brought my clothes back. I ended up finding a cell phone in my pocket, and it has all my contacts in it! (After Stalker)
  • Oh fuck, Lis got kidnapped by some secret agent man. (After G.A.Y.)
  • I got to see Lis naked. (After Ethnic Cleansing)
  • What's worse than a bee sting? Five bee stings. (After Throw It Down)
  • Did any of you guys hear about that guy in Florida that got arrested for force feeding rocks to autistic kids? (After Scouting The Warehouse)
  • I just wanna thank my two amigos Lis, Trey, and my Uncle Neil for busting me out of that warehouse. It wasn't fun at all, being fed on stale pop and flat bread. Wait, it was the other way around. Fuck it. I'll keep it like that because it looks silly. (After ...Back To The Garden)
  • I stayed the night with Lis last night. I hope she doesn't notice I ate all that Chinese food in the fridge. (After The Exchange)
  • My Uncle Neil came home and said he was working with a train crew and I said "no way" and he said "yeah way" and I was like "okay" and I went to go to the bathroom. (After The Not-So-Great Train Robbery)
  • I wish the news would come here so I can mess with one of their broadcasts, like strip naked and jump around while the reporter is talking about a fatal plane crash or something. (After Always Hardcore)
  • I got to be a getaway driver today. Just like in the games! (After The Getaway)
  • I came blood. Should I be concerned? (After Easy Rider)
  • I heard my dad is eligible for parole in three years. By that time, I hope we colonized Mars. (After Friendly Competition)
  • Fargo is a nice city. (After Breaking and Entering)
  • I don't get it. It's perfectly fine to burn a cross on someone's lawn, but god forbid if you mention your fetish in front of your friends or urinate in public. (After Animal Farm)
  • Court isn't very fun and community service isn't very fun either. Raves are fun though. Along with inhaling helium balloons and your voice goes really really high pitched and stuff. (After Unsere schöne Welt)

Neil Myall's Page informationEdit

  • Birthday: April 30th, 1969
  • Relationship Status: Married
  • Anniversary: December 3rd, 1992
  • Sex: Male
  • Hometown: Philadelphia, North Dakota
  • Languages: English
  • Religious Views: Episcopal
  • Political Views: Bush messed everything up.
  • Occupation: Cashier at 6-Nine
  • About: My name is Neil Myall. I am a US Army Veteran and I proudly served this country in the 82nd Airborne Divison in Panama during the late 1980's and early 1990's. I served my country well and they made a movie about it. I tried to sign up for another tour of duty, but they didn't allow me on some "mental ground" junk, so here I am, making models and working at a convenience store.


  • Profile Picture - Neil is standing with Sarah in front of their house, holding eachother around the waist and smiling
  • Viewable Picture 1 - Neil is standing in front of his Apache, saluting the camera
  • Viewable Picture 2 - Neil, Sarah, and Todd are all having their picture taken at a fancy restaurant. Neil & Sarah are focused at the camera, while Todd is distracted by his phone
  • Viewable Picture 3 - Neil is standing in a jungle, dressed in army fatigues and holding an M16 rifle. He has much shorter hair and a thinner mustache. The photograph is dated "12-21-1989"
  • The bad news is that I sold my O scale collection at a model train convention in Bismarck, but the good news is that I got the money for an HO scale collection, which I am buying supplies for as I type this post. (Pregame)
  • Some stupid kid scratched my truck with his keys while I was at work. Luckilly I saw the whole thing and chased them out with the rifle I keep behind the counter. Shame they scratched it though, my dad gave me that truck after I graduated. (Pregame)
  • Since when did the Dakota Central get a high nose GD9? I always thought they used low nose GD9s, but I've never seen a high nose one. (Pregame)
  • They're showing my movie as part of a military movie marathon on the History Network later today. (Pregame)